Up, down, up, down

So yesterday was actually a kind of good day. I went to my first swimming lesson which was nice. I am starting swimming as my new exercise routine. My dad bought me a membership to the UH gym down the street from my house, so I might as well put it to good use. I get four lessons for $25, so I go twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Yesterday I worked on my freestyle stroke which I never really perfected. I learned that I am only supposed to have my head in the water between my hair line and between my eyes, not lower than that. I also am supposed to bring my elbow up high enough when I turn my chin to my shoulder to get air. And I'm supposed to kick with my heels breaking the surface of the water, not lower and not higher. It's kind of a lot to remember but I am getting better at it little by little.

I feel good when I'm in the water. I'm not in so much pain when I'm swimming. I wish I was a fish. Life would be so much easier if I were a fish and not a person. I'm gonna look into that... Just kidding. So I bought a swimming cap to keep my hair out of my eyes when I swim and I bought some goggles too. Oh! Sidenote: The hottest guys in the swimming arena are the divers--by far. I saw all these super toned, muscular, beautiful guys with six packs and I almost died watching them. I'm sure the girls are hot too, but they were wearing dorky one pieces so you can't see their abs. I'm sure they're there though. Lol.

I also got together with one of my old high school friends that I hadn't seen since last fall. We went to Two Rows and ate fatty food and talked about guys, parents, and siblings. And how they can each be beyond annoying and obnoxious! We're both also looking for jobs, but she's graduated so she's looking for a real one, whereas I am looking for just a summer gig.

Today I finally got to see my friend Dez from high school who just had a baby 3 weeks ago. He is soo tiny and absolutely adorable in an I'm-still-ugly-cuz-i-just-got-borned kind of way. And I fully realize that "borned" is not a word. She makes the third close friend of mine that is either pregnant or has already had a baby. My best friend Sylvia had a baby last summer. She was 19. Dez is 21. And my other friend is 20. Did I miss some memo or news bulletin about how I need to have a baby before my 25th birthday or I'll spontaneously combust??

Seriously though, what's the hurry? I'm glad I'm not pregnant and that I don't have a baby. I don't know what I would do in that situation, especially with my condition. I don't see how being in pain all the time is ever going to benefit another tiny human being. Which also makes me think about potential mates (or the lack thereof). I mean, what red-blooded man in their right mind seriously thinks to themselves: "Let's see, I really want to date someone and possibly marry her, but she has to have a lifelong, chronic disease where she's in pain all the time, and oftentimes depressed and can't hold down a "normal" job." I don't think any guy even processes anything near to those thoughts. Poor them. They're missing out. They would just have such a good time with a mess like me!! Haha!

To be fair, my friend Dez did tell me today about this show on tv where this woman in her 30's had an unknown medical condition that caused her to have to use a walker all the time and in addition to that, FM, but she still wanted to have a baby. And she was scared about having the baby and worried about whether she would be in a lot of pain since she decided to stop taking her meds for the baby's sake. But she ended up being able to get through it (I guess the hormones helped, or so I've heard) with the help of her beloved husband that was so supportive and understanding and there for her. It was a really sweet story to hear because it gives me hope that maybe he has a brother who is just like him and willing to make having a ill wife a fun family trend. =)

I've been having a lot of nightmares lately. This morning I woke up with my heart beating really fast and in a cold sweat. In the dream, I was in a room full of people and we were all sitting on couches in a circle. We were lying in wait for a man to assassinate him. He walks in the door and I guess doesn't recognize any of us and thinks we're there for some other reason. Anyway, we all pull out our guns and shoot him to death. Then a couple minutes after that, someone in the group starts shooting the other people in the room. In the end it was just me and another fat, Black woman. She was the main woman shooting everybody and when everyone else was dead, she looked over at me and said something to make me think that she wasn't going to shoot me, but then she snapped at me and laughed and pointed a gun at me. I ran into a room in the back of the house but there was no way out, and then I woke up.

NIGHTMARES SUCK!!

So I want this to end on a good note...I HEART BETHANY BAYES!!